Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when a venue has a limited number of seats and not everyone can receive a plus-one. A groom’s parents decided to invite 10 of their friends without asking, prompting a debate about etiquette.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, the bride explained how perfectly her wedding went aside from the one detail. “I married my husband last weekend after about a year of planning,” her post on the platform began. “The ceremony went off perfectly even with kids in the church. The formal photos weren’t delayed. No one got drunk and wrecked anything. No one insisted on bringing their emotional support goat.”
The bride then made it clear that the extra people invited were not relatives, but simply friends of her in-laws. She wrote that she didn’t notice the extra people during the ceremony, but it became a problem during the reception as there was nowhere for them to sit.
“Our best man and groomsmen found a folding table and chairs for them to sit at. There was food, we went with a buffet, but since we sent the tables to eat by number and they didn’t have a number they were sent last after everything had been picked over,” she wrote.
She explained that her in-laws then confronted the bride, saying that they were embarrassed their friends were being treated that way. “I, very politely, asked them what they expected when they invited people without telling the people planning and paying for the wedding?” the bride responded.
Her in-laws told them to apologise to their friends, but she only agreed to do it if she also explained to them that they were not invited. Anything beyond that would have to come from her in-laws themselves, she said.
“They are upset with me. My husband has my back 100 per cent. I think I could have been more gracious but I also think it should not have fallen on us to deal with it,” she ended the post.
After posting, many people took to the comments section to defend the bride for being upset, explaining that it was “entitled” of her in-laws to invite any extra people.
“Your in-laws are of course entirely out of line and are the a**holes here. But the people they invited are also a**holes for even showing up!” one comment began.
“They did not receive an actual invite. Is this their first day on earth? Do they not know how weddings work? They didn’t think it was odd that their ‘invitation’ was a verbal one from the groom’s parents, and not a physical paper one sent in the mail by the couple?”
Another commenter agreed, writing: “Not only did we invite 10 strangers, but you need to drop everything on during your wedding reception (it’s not like you’re stressed or doing anything else) and apologise to these freeloaders that they had to go to the buffet line last. NOPE!!! You should think about inviting strangers over to their house next time they have a gathering.”
“Why on Earth would people just show up at a reception without having received the formal invite?” a third commenter pointed out. “Your in-laws created this so it was their problem to fix. I might have said something to the effect of, ‘I hope you had a good time, sorry about the accommodations, we had no idea you were coming.’”